Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
