This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She said her name was "party"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
