Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
