im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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