did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
