omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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