sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
