super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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