WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize