It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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