But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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