Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
