You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
