Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
