Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
