her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
