I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize