I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My ATM looks so different sober.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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