guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
