Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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