so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
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Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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