I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
