there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
