nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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