3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
