He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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