I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This can only be settled by a dance off.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
