i just google imaged poop.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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