was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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