Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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