No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Plan B is the new Plan A
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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