I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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