I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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