dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
