The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
