Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
