Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
