i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize