I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
