Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
