Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
