You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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