fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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