Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
