You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
