More tranny stories later!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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