What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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