All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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