I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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