Only a mothe r could love this liver
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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