id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
