just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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