I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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