i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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