So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
