First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
