you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
