What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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