Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
