I can tuck mytits in my pants
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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