This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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