My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
