i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
