I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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